In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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