Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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