I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize