I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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