I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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