I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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