this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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