hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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