Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
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I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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