Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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