In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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