i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize