Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
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Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
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I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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