After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize