did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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