she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize