His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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