I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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