Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize