At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize