I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well I just put wine in my tea
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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