just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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