Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
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I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
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I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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