He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
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I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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