After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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