6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize