We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
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do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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