Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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