I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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