Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize