i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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