What did we do last night that was yellow?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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