I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
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I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
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I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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