Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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