Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
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Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
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I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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