K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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