Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize