my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize