I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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