OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize