I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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