he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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