maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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