dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
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Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I did not marry a roomba.
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