I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize