so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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