Screwed.edu
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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