She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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