dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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