she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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